National Underwear Day is a day that speaks to me on an emotional level, as to be honest I bloody love underwear.
Wearing a really nice set of lingerie, or a bra and pants that look great, is one of the techniques I use to feel best about my body. But I haven’t always been so confident in myself.
Being an In Between size
Back in 2016, Rachael from Helpless While Drying wrote a post on being an “in between” size which really resonated with me.
I’ve been a size 12 since I was at least 11; I don’t ever really remember being smaller. At 5″10, this size is pretty proportionate on me, but in recent years I’ve crept up to a 14. I, like a lot of people, carry most of my weight around my stomach, thighs and arms. Finding clothes can be hard, especially with 32G boobs but a standard frame. I’m tall and average, not tall and slim or tall and fat.
It feels a lot like there are two bubbles – slim or large. I’m lucky to have something of an hourglass figure, which society has deemed to be an acceptable figure, and I suppose that helps with self acceptance.
Not Fat, But Not Slim
I’m the sort of size where if I can’t say I’m slim, because I’m not – I carry some weight and I’m not toned at all. But if I say I’m a bit chubby, people will say “no you’re not, don’t say that about yourself, you’re not fat”. And no, I’m not fat. I’m a bit chubby and I carry some weight. But even if I was fat, don’t argue it; a fact is a fact at the end of the day, and being fat isn’t a bad thing.
I don’t tend to say I’m fat because I know I’m not, and I don’t want to take that away from people who ARE fat and are owning their body size, self love and positivity. I’m here for that. I’ve stopped saying “I feel fat” on my low days, because that’s not something I should say about myself as a bad feeling. Fat is not bad. Instead I say “I don’t feel very confident in myself today”, or something similar, because that’s not detrimental to any body but is instead a reflection on my mental state, not my body.
Body Positivity on National Underwear Day
What I wasn’t expecting was, at the largest size I’ve been, to feel most confident about my body (and simultaneously least confident). I have days where I sit down and feel like the flab folds on my stomach are gross. I also have days where I’ll prance round at the beach in a bikini, cellulite out for the public, and feel fcking fabulous.
What a friend taught me years ago was to dress for the body you have, not for the body you want or the body you think you have. Something I’ve learnt is that feeling good on the inside leads to feeling good on the outside, and I apply this to my underwear too. Wearing underwear that looks good and fits well is something that can make me fantastic – same applies to bikinis. I’ll always fork out a little extra dollar! This is why National Underwear Day speaks to me so much.
I’ve spent the last couple of years teaching myself to really embrace my body. While I used to sit covering my fat rolls, now I embrace them for the fact that they are me. I’ll prance about in clothes I love that make me feel good, and if they show my average-sized body then so be it. I’ll upload photos in my underwear because I feel damn good and want to share that you can love yourself, no matter your size or shape.
Yes, I have days where I don’t feel good about myself, but I’m working on that. It’s not a sudden change, it’s a work in progress but I’m getting there and it’s great.
How are you celebrating yourself for National Underwear Day?
Wearing the Reagan set from Boux Avenue.