Everything in my life is going pretty well right now, so why does it feel like I’m just not getting anywhere?
Personally things are going better than they have in a while and emotionally I’ve been feeling ok. I’ve been really happy over the last few weeks! Some positive changes are happening and I’m getting some really good opportunities.
But that’s only half the story. Like the yin to every yang, there are ups and there are downs.
My blog stats are way higher than they’ve ever been and the opportunities keep coming in, but my DA keeps dropping bit by bit. It’s like I take two steps forward and three steps back all the time, and I’m struggling a lot with it. I feel like my content is struggling too. I’ve been really happy with what I’ve been putting out because I won’t put anything out that I’m not happy with. However, I feel like most of it is just flopping which is a shame as I’ve been putting in a lot of effort.
My mental health is also quite up and down right now. I’m (mentally) feeling more upbeat than I have for a while. I’m coping pretty well with my BPD right now and I’m now only rated as Moderately Depressed & Anxious™ instead of severely, but I’ve been admitted for more therapy which is making me feel quite low. The first round of CBT really didn’t help at all because I was put in group sessions which were really of absolutely no relevance to me. Because of this, I’ve been referred for more one-on-one sessions. Hopefully these should help get to the root of things which I’ve been dealing with for several years. We’ll see how that goes.
Even so, I’m feeling pretty positive for the future. I’m determined to sort myself out this year, make some solid progress and improve a lot of things in my life. I’ve just moved house again into a really cute new flat with my best friend, new and exciting things look like they’re on the horizon and I’m really happy with the people in my life right now. Sometimes you’ve just got to go with the flow and see where things take you, and right now they’re taking me in some good directions.
So even though it feels like I’m not getting anywhere right now, I know I will eventually. It’s going to take some work and support, but I’ll get there.
Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a rut and not getting anywhere?
Photos taken by my eternal BFF Elena Bjxrn.